Archive for the ‘Family’ Category
A joke told to my husband by his straight hairstylist: What’s the best part of a blowjob? The five minutes of silence.
That’s just funny. If you aren’t laughing, stop reading now.
I’m always writing about how similar we are as women. How we share so many of the same thoughts and experiences. The reality is, men share a lot of similarities with each other as well.
Basically, they all want their wives to shut up a little. From their point of view, we say too … Continue Reading »
How do I know I am a good mom?
When you think about it, there are few things that we know for certain we can do, and were taught to do a certain way. Like riding a bike, tying our shoes, driving a car.
But, are we ever taught how to be a good mom?
Growing up, I was lucky I had a good mom. Love unconditionally, stayed up with me while I finished my homework, always had dinner for me, and bought me pumps at … Continue Reading »
You know you need a break from the everyday when you start offering sexual favors to your hubby if he would agree to take one of your kids to team pictures.
You say prostitute, I say tired mommy. Actually, I’m not even that tired. I just didn’t want to fill out another picture form. Really, I want to be done filling out all forms. But the picture day forms are the most annoying, and then you have to wait in the Florida hot sun for your … Continue Reading »
I cried at Taylor Swift last night. Not because her unbelievable talent made me feel completely talentless. Not because watching her made me realize that I too would like to play the banjo but can’t. Not even because her bangs are so perfect and when I tried bangs shortly after Julia was born, it was not pretty, and Scott looked at me like he did at those home video childbirths they used to show on TLC’s A Baby Story.
I cried from happiness. I was with Julia … Continue Reading »
I am back from my family vacation in Colorado. For one of our dinners we went to hibachi. I am sure all parents have gone to hibachi. It is my kids’ favorite type of restaurant. Me, every time I go, I am a little grossed out. The stove looks dirty and contaminated. I am sure I will have major food poisoning later on in the night, I get hot and sweaty, but most of all disgusted by the amount of fried rice I can eat.
Nonetheless, my kids love … Continue Reading »
Don’t you love when one of your all time favorite movies is showing for a month straight on HBO? I have caught Parenthood with Steve Martin twice already. I’ll tell you why I love it. Even though it’s such an old movie, it’s still so funny, and it resonates with me now more than ever. It follows a family, three siblings, and the dynamics of each of their families, from marriages to issues with the kids.
There’s a great scene where a mother and her teenage daughter are fighting, … Continue Reading »
My kids are thirteen, ten, and nine, yet it seems like only yesterday they were babies. I reveled in dressing them in their adorable babyGap onesies and I made my weekly visits to their store where I would buy up any new items. That’s why I was so excited when the Gap, in partnership with Milk+Bookies, asked me to help commemorate the 110th anniversary of the beloved Beatrix Potter book, The Tale of Peter Rabbit, with the reading of it’s sequel, The Further Tale of Peter Rabbit, … Continue Reading »
I admit I have had complete writer’s block. Since last Friday I haven’t able to think of anything funny, let alone write anything funny. I, like everyone else in the world, have had a hand over my mouth and tears in my eyes every time I read a newspaper or watch the news.
I have always prided myself as being a pretty lax mother. I am a glass half full person whose mind rarely goes to the worst case scenario. I have even judged overprotective parenting as uptight … Continue Reading »
As promised, I have been an asshole back to my kid since writing Mom Discovers A New Ailment. I did not pick him/her up from the bus stop a few times, I acted less interested in his/her day. I stopped asking him/her “what’s wrong” all the time. Basically, I tried to not let his/her attitude bother me so much, and I didn’t go out of my way for the kid. I gotta say that kid’s attitude has approved a bit, could be … Continue Reading »
I have decided not to fight it anymore!!!! I am giving in. It has taken a lot time, but there is no avoiding it.
I am a MOM. Sure I know I have written endless articles about parenting and my kids. I am friends with mostly other moms. We talk incessantly about mom things, but secretly I complain. Secretly I have my too cool for school moments when I tell myself, and sometimes Scott, that although I participate, I know I am not just the MOM.
I … Continue Reading »
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