People always play those games, what would you get if you came into some money? Me, I would hire a live-in videographer. I would call him LIV. I want him to follow me around and video my day to day life. Not like Real Housewives, or worse, Jersey Shore type of taping. I want him to be my proof. I want to be able to turn to him at any time and say “you saw that right?”
Any mother and wife would want this. It would go like this:
Me: “Honey, just to let you know our plans, tomorrow I have to go to a birthday lunch, and Ben has to go to a friends, Julia has a game, and Jack is meeting friends at the park. Okay?”
Scott…two hours later: “Babe, you don’t need me tomorrow, we don’t have anything going on, right?”
I stare at LIV, like those characters do on The Office and Modern Family.
“Roll the tape.”
When Scott and I have an argument about how we are speaking to one another, now it’s easy to determine who is wrong.
“Roll the tape”
Even better, when my kids are fighting, and I know they are lying about what happened, I can now get all LA Law on them.
“I object” and “I’d like to submit this video into evidence.” I knew my law degree wouldn’t go to waste.
Then I could make a confessional room, and I could go in with LIV and just talk to him. Give him my point on the day of events. It would be like therapy, except better because I can say everything I want and no one would tell me I might be wrong.
Like when I am helping my kids with their homework, they aren’t getting it and I am getting frustrated and a little troubled that they aren’t getting it. I could relax, go into my confessional room:
“You think that math is easy, right? ” Don’t you think they should know this stuff?”
What a release!!!
I totally know what I am asking Scott for this year’s birthday present.