Posts Tagged ‘moms’
A joke told to my husband by his straight hairstylist: What’s the best part of a blowjob? The five minutes of silence.
That’s just funny. If you aren’t laughing, stop reading now.
I’m always writing about how similar we are as women. How we share so many of the same thoughts and experiences. The reality is, men share a lot of similarities with each other as well.
Basically, they all want their wives to shut up a little. From their point of view, we say too … Continue Reading »
Last night, as I was grocery shopping, I got such a kick out of seeing all the men scrambling to find flowers, cards, and candy for their mates. I found it so entertaining that I told my Facebook friends to head out to their local store to watch the men sweat out their purchases. I even went so far as to make fun of these guys to my husband. “Can you believe these guys going to Publix the night before Valentine’s?”
This Valentine’s morning my husband gave me a … Continue Reading »
Mommy Rut: when the hamster wheel starts squeaking and you can’t remember what you did from one day to the next.
We have all hit it. A rut. The days meld into each other and you swear you just saw Punxsutawney Phil running around. I am experiencing one now. It seems like the days are filled with mind numbing errands, carpools, and sporting events; and any vacation is still a ways off.
It’s normal to feel this way. I’m thinking I have to take my own advice. … Continue Reading »
Competition often gets a bad rap. There’s now a trend where everybody plays, everybody wins. But I find that competition can be healthy and is just part of life. As we get older though, it seems that adult competition takes on different forms. I need to get my competitive fix where I can find it, and, I often find it with the hubby.
1. Family Competition: Scott and I enjoy sparring over who is nicer to whose family. I believe I am the … Continue Reading »
You know how you go shopping with your girlfriends, and you may buy a lot of stuff, then you spend the rest of the day finding justifications for each purchase? “I need that tan v-neck sweater. I only have a crew neck one, and the v-neck would be better at night, and I get cold. That was a great purchase! I don’t feel bad about that purchase. Don’t you think?” ”Yes, that was amazing. You definitely don’t have anything like that.”
Well, yesterday, I … Continue Reading »
I admit I have had complete writer’s block. Since last Friday I haven’t able to think of anything funny, let alone write anything funny. I, like everyone else in the world, have had a hand over my mouth and tears in my eyes every time I read a newspaper or watch the news.
I have always prided myself as being a pretty lax mother. I am a glass half full person whose mind rarely goes to the worst case scenario. I have even judged overprotective parenting as uptight … Continue Reading »
I am a movie person and am very excited for This is 40 to come out. It is a follow up to Judd Apatow’s Knocked Up and focuses on the Leslie Mann/Paul Rudd relationship and her character turning forty. Every time I see the trailer I laugh out loud and totally relate.
The reality is, so much of what is going on with all of us at this age is universal. We can live in different parts of the country, be in different socioeconomic groups, practice different religions, but we share so much in common by the mere … Continue Reading »
As promised, I have been an asshole back to my kid since writing Mom Discovers A New Ailment. I did not pick him/her up from the bus stop a few times, I acted less interested in his/her day. I stopped asking him/her “what’s wrong” all the time. Basically, I tried to not let his/her attitude bother me so much, and I didn’t go out of my way for the kid. I gotta say that kid’s attitude has approved a bit, could be … Continue Reading »
I was watching a video of myself talking and I discovered that I may have a slight lisp.
Me: Scott, I think I have a lisp. Do I sound like I have a lisp?
Scott: Yes, you kind of have always had a lisp.
Me: I have? Why haven’t you ever told me? I’ve had a lisp the whole time we are together, and you never mentioned it?
So it got me to thinking. What else has Scott decided not to tell me … Continue Reading »
I have decided not to fight it anymore!!!! I am giving in. It has taken a lot time, but there is no avoiding it.
I am a MOM. Sure I know I have written endless articles about parenting and my kids. I am friends with mostly other moms. We talk incessantly about mom things, but secretly I complain. Secretly I have my too cool for school moments when I tell myself, and sometimes Scott, that although I participate, I know I am not just the MOM.
I … Continue Reading »
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