Humor, Husbands, Sex,

What Men’s Magazines Can Teach Us Wives

So Scott reads Men’s Magazines like Men’s Health and Maxim and from time to time he likes to offer me little tidbits of information.  This last one was actually good.

It was an article about how to achieve the best orgasm for you and your mate.  This is what you need to do:

Day One:  Kiss for a half hour.  Just kissing.

Day Two:   Still kissing with some over the clothes petting.

Day Three:  More kissing, a little more touching.

Day Four:  Still more kissing, then maybe run the bases.

Day Five:   You are finally allowed to have sex and all of this waiting will apparently lead to an explosion, an eruption if you will.

 

So I listen to Scott give me this day–by-day plan.  “Sounds good,“ I say, as my shopping senses are feeling all tingly.  “We can give it a try.  But to be fair, can we try my five day plan, too?”

Day One:  You buy me a belt.  Just a belt.

Day Two:  A Shirt.  Just a shirt.

Day Three:  Pants.  Just pants. I can wear the belt, the shirt, and the pants.

Day Four:  Shoes. Things are really starting to get hot and exciting.  I almost have a full outfit and I am really wanting it.  Wanting more.

Day Five:  We enter the store I have been visiting for years and we get the purse I have been wanting.  I scream, “Yes, Yes, that’s it!”  I have the biggest smile on my face, and actually feel exhausted from all of this waiting and anticipation.

So what have I learned from Scott’s article?  I learned there are benefits to waiting.  And I learned that my hubby is probably trying to tell me something if he is repeating what he read in this article.   I should probably listen, take it seriously; and turn off Real Housewives for a second.

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