I created this blog as a virtual girls night out. Some of my favorite times are with my girlfriends, sitting around laughing and sharing. Making fun of each other, ourselves, our lives.
… Continue Reading »
I have always liked you. Back when I thought you were just the witty mediator at the Housewives reunions shows, I knew you had a special spark. You were funny and entertaining.
When I found out you were a top executive responsible for programming, I added “brilliant” to the list of adjectives I used to describe you. I imagined us as great friends hanging out and tanning together at your Hamptons house, making fun of some of the housewives, … Continue Reading »
I have ripped off every one of my fake nails. I am definitely drinking more this week. I am breaking out. I am on edge, calling my best friend an asshole when she asks me where we should have lunch.
“What’s wrong Jen?” I am sure you are asking.
Camp trunk packing. I would rather get waxed in public.
Three kids, two trunks each.
Listen, this isn’t my first time at the rodeo. I have been packing trunks for a while now. I can do it. What makes … Continue Reading »
You know how all moms will tell other women that they just can’t imagine what it’s like to raise a child until you become a mom yourself?
Well, I can tell you exactly what it’s like to have a thirteen-year-old boy, even if you never have a child. It’s like being on the most awkward first date ever!! You sit there, the date has nothing to say and you are totally unsure if he likes you. You ask him a question and get one word answers, and … Continue Reading »
I was shopping in a Theory store the other day. Sitting in the dressing room I watched a young girl buy her New York City wardrobe. She was interning there this summer.
I told her I too interned in New York City, but back then I bought all my work clothes at Ann Taylor, and I looked mighty spiffy.
I told her how much I loved that time. How much fun she was going to have.
I also told her when I liked one her outfits and … Continue Reading »
Last week my family returned to Disney world. We hadn’t been back since 2006 and my son Jack wanted to revisit his youth before he turned the big 11.
The Magic Kingdom doesn’t change. With the exception of a few new rides, all was intact. Pirates of the Caribbean, The Jungle Cruise, and the not yet diagnosed but definitely clinically insane Disney pin traders.
I was, however, struck by one change in the park: Cinderella. She looked like shit!!
Now put on your suspension of … Continue Reading »
A joke told to my husband by his straight hairstylist: What’s the best part of a blowjob? The five minutes of silence.
That’s just funny. If you aren’t laughing, stop reading now.
I’m always writing about how similar we are as women. How we share so many of the same thoughts and experiences. The reality is, men share a lot of similarities with each other as well.
Basically, they all want their wives to shut up a little. From their point of view, we say too … Continue Reading »
How do I know I am a good mom?
When you think about it, there are few things that we know for certain we can do, and were taught to do a certain way. Like riding a bike, tying our shoes, driving a car.
But, are we ever taught how to be a good mom?
Growing up, I was lucky I had a good mom. Love unconditionally, stayed up with me while I finished my homework, always had dinner for me, and bought me pumps at … Continue Reading »
The other night with my girlfriends we discussed attending the Maroon 5 concert. They emphasized they wanted to get as close as possible to Adam Levine to better their chances of sleeping with him. I listened with much amusement, all the while thinking, “We are just too old to be fawning over rock stars.” At this stage in my life, I need a sure thing.
Of course I reminisced about my time in high school when I made my way to the front row of the Bon … Continue Reading »
You know you need a break from the everyday when you start offering sexual favors to your hubby if he would agree to take one of your kids to team pictures.
You say prostitute, I say tired mommy. Actually, I’m not even that tired. I just didn’t want to fill out another picture form. Really, I want to be done filling out all forms. But the picture day forms are the most annoying, and then you have to wait in the Florida hot sun for your … Continue Reading »
The other day I am shopping with Julia when a girl she knows approaches. Wearing a sweatshirt from the store, the girl asks, “Julia, do you have one of these sweatshirts?” Julia responds, “Yes,” and then the little girls says, “Are you Jewish?” Again, Julia responds “yes.” The girl turns to her mother, “You see Mom, everyone I know who has this sweatshirt is Jewish.”
Julia and I found this exchange quite comical. I assured the little girl that a lot of different people have this sweatshirt … Continue Reading »
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