I created this blog as a virtual girls night out. Some of my favorite times are with my girlfriends, sitting around laughing and sharing. Making fun of each other, ourselves, our lives.
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Last week my family returned to Disney world. We hadn’t been back since 2006 and my son Jack wanted to revisit his youth before he turned the big 11. The Magic Kingdom doesn’t change. With the exception of a few new rides, all was intact. Pirates of the Caribbean, The Jungle Cruise, and the not yet diagnosed but definitely clinically insane Disney pin traders.
I was, however, struck by one change in the park: Cinderella. She looked like shit!! Now put on your suspension of … Continue Reading »
A joke told to my husband by his straight hairstylist: What’s the best part of a blowjob? The five minutes of silence.
That’s just funny. If you aren’t laughing, stop reading now.
I’m always writing about how similar we are as women. How we share so many of the same thoughts and experiences. The reality is, men share a lot of similarities with each other as well. Basically, they all want their wives to shut up a little. From their point of view, we say too … Continue Reading »
How do I know I am a good mom? When you think about it, there are few things that we know for certain we can do, and were taught to do a certain way. Like riding a bike, tying our shoes, driving a car. But, are we ever taught how to be a good mom? Growing up, I was lucky I had a good mom. Love unconditionally, stayed up with me while I finished my homework, always had dinner for me, and bought me pumps at … Continue Reading »
The other night with my girlfriends we discussed attending the Maroon 5 concert. They emphasized they wanted to get as close as possible to Adam Levine to better their chances of sleeping with him. I listened with much amusement, all the while thinking, “We are just too old to be fawning over rock stars.” At this stage in my life, I need a sure thing. Of course I reminisced about my time in high school when I made my way to the front row of the Bon … Continue Reading »
You know you need a break from the everyday when you start offering sexual favors to your hubby if he would agree to take one of your kids to team pictures. You say prostitute, I say tired mommy. Actually, I’m not even that tired. I just didn’t want to fill out another picture form. Really, I want to be done filling out all forms. But the picture day forms are the most annoying, and then you have to wait in the Florida hot sun for your … Continue Reading »
The other day I am shopping with Julia when a girl she knows approaches. Wearing a sweatshirt from the store, the girl asks, “Julia, do you have one of these sweatshirts?” Julia responds, “Yes,” and then the little girls says, “Are you Jewish?” Again, Julia responds “yes.” The girl turns to her mother, “You see Mom, everyone I know who has this sweatshirt is Jewish.” Julia and I found this exchange quite comical. I assured the little girl that a lot of different people have this sweatshirt … Continue Reading »
I cried at Taylor Swift last night. Not because her unbelievable talent made me feel completely talentless. Not because watching her made me realize that I too would like to play the banjo but can’t. Not even because her bangs are so perfect and when I tried bangs shortly after Julia was born, it was not pretty, and Scott looked at me like he did at those home video childbirths they used to show on TLC’s A Baby Story. I cried from happiness. I was with Julia … Continue Reading »
Yesterday, I picked my car up from service. I have such a hard time paying for car service. I own my car, but when I take it in, I end up spending hundreds of dollars on it, and I hate spending a lot of money on something and not being excited about it. Like bra shopping or groceries. Anyway, I go pick up my car and there is a cute kinda bad boy behind the counter getting my paperwork ready. The kind of guy who … Continue Reading »
I am back from my family vacation in Colorado. For one of our dinners we went to hibachi. I am sure all parents have gone to hibachi. It is my kids’ favorite type of restaurant. Me, every time I go, I am a little grossed out. The stove looks dirty and contaminated. I am sure I will have major food poisoning later on in the night, I get hot and sweaty, but most of all disgusted by the amount of fried rice I can eat. Nonetheless, my kids love … Continue Reading »
I am going to talk about a serious form of discrimination I have been experiencing. I am a good person and don’t think I should be victim to this kind of treatment. It’s called real housewivist. This is when I tell people I watch the Real Housewives franchise and they look at me with those judging eyes, as if I am less then them. As if my TV isn’t as good as their TV. I am here to fight for my rights, and the rights … Continue Reading » |
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