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Welcome to Don’t Wear Sweats

jenross

I created this blog as a virtual girls night out. Some of my favorite times are with my girlfriends, sitting around laughing and sharing. Making fun of each other, ourselves, our lives.

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A Mom Tries To Lose The Nachos

nachos

 

So I got a sonogram Monday morning to check on my fun medical issue I have. Nothing serious. But the most fun part of it was the technician telling me how gassy I was and that it was making it difficult to get a reading. She also made sure to share that she read my last report and it too basically complained of my gassiness.

What can I say. It’s true. I’m a pretty gassy person. I told her it was my IBS, which I do have, but as I … Continue Reading »



A Forty-Something Teaches A Twenty-Something Something

julia roberts big mistake

 

I have had three consistent fantasies for a good part of my adult life.

You know the first one. It’s the Pretty Woman dream. The sales lady is rude to me, and I return the next day, with a huge hat, and bags galore, screaming Big Mistake. Then I go my daughter’s soccer game in a polka dot dress, and start fixing the dirt on the field.

The second, I am sitting next to Jennifer Lopez on a first class flight from Miami to LA. She is struck … Continue Reading »



Eye Shadows To Love

I really think one of the best ways to find great makeup or beauty products is to ask the person who is looking great, wearing a great color blush or lipstick. Ask someone with great skin what they are using. Ask someone with a great ass what their workout is. Most people are very forthcoming with the information. For those who aren’t, you can always follow them home and search their garbage cans, or track their daily routine to get their hair salon or gym. single white female

Lucky for me, when … Continue Reading »



A Mom Thinks Up The Greatest Invention Ever!!

female robots

Of course at the beginning of the New Year, you think about what you want for yourself and those around you. But I have to say, I saw Jerry Seinfeld being interviewed, and he says he doesn’t make New Years’s resolutions because if he wants to change something he just changes it at that moment. I think that’s a great lesson to follow. I got rid of my forehead lines in August.

 

That being said, as I was in Target buying Huggable Hangers to make my closet clean and … Continue Reading »



A Mom Makes Her Sex Life Younger

 

healthy married sex life

If someone were to ask, “What is the sex life of couples married for eighteen plus years?” I would try to make my answer as relatable as possible.

 

The sex life of married couples of eighteen plus years is like the Sex And The City marathon you randomly catch on the E! network. You are so excited it’s happening, and you want to be involved even though you’ve seen most of them before, and usually know what is going to happen next.

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A Mom Dreams Up Parenting Rehab

 

parenting rehab

 

I’m not going to lie. This parenting thing has been kicking my ass lately. Of course, I will state the obvious. I love my kids, I love being a mom, yada yada yada. But sometimes, you go through a stretch, where the simplest comment from your husband, “Babe, I think we need to take Ben to the eye doctor, he’s squinting a lot, is met with a “ Ugh, why, I don’t want to go to another eye appointment. What does he really need to see?” Did I … Continue Reading »



Don’t Stress the Mom Stress

mom time out

 

I would say I am stressed about something daily.

 

My kids.

 

My weight.

 

My garage.

 

My gluten.

 

My kids again.

 

My husband.

 

 

 

But I feel like my handle on the stress has gotten better with age.

 

I try to follow these tips every time I feel stress coming.

 

1) What’s your damage? Simply asking yourself what you are so stressed about it this first step. A lot of times I feel overwhelmed by the numerous tasks I … Continue Reading »



Letting Our Daughters In On the Secret

telling the truth

 

It’s my time of the month …again, which I could have sworn just happened, but I always forget to write down when I get it, so the CVS guy has become my cycle calendar when he asks, “Weren’t you just here getting these?”

 

Back at home, I tell my daughter Julia that I just got my period. She hears me grunt in agony, and sees me pop an Aleve. So I think she has a pretty good idea that I don’t love it. Sure I could hide … Continue Reading »



I Don’t Part With My Clothes!

 

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Have you ever seen that show Hoarders? I’ve seen it a few times and I am always shocked and disturbed. The people they profile have serious problems saving literally everything. Their stuff is piled up in every room in their house, and it appears as if they don’t even realize it.

 

Well, I must confess that I too have been called a hoarder. But for me, it’s not newspapers from 1974, or old tv dinners left in the corner of my bedroom, it’s clothes. I have a serious problem … Continue Reading »



Joan Rivers:The Perfect Role Model

 

 

I admit it. I’ve been really upset about Joan Rivers passing. Of course I didn’t know her, only saw her perform once, but for some reason, this felt like a personal loss to me. I feel horrible for her daughter and grandson, and I feel devastated for Joan.

 

I am not a big celebrity person. Sure I read the tabloids, but that’s mostly for the fun of seeing cellulite on the celebs, or trying to figure out what the hell is going on with Jen Aniston.

 

But … Continue Reading »