Aging,

A Mom Writes To Her Son:

Dear Jack,

I know I’ve said it to you a million times over the past few months, but I can’t help it. I’m really, really, sorry. This was your year. Your friends’ year. You found out about your dream college early and then you were supposed to just have fun. A concept even before this pandemic I think has been overlooked. You are told to focus so much on school, your extra curriculars, getting in, that most of your high school did not look like what I experienced.

When March came and you and your friends were supposed to be playing hooky from school, and go to the beach, you had to be home with your family, dedicating too much time to Hostess Puzzles.  Then Prom was cancelled, then Graduation. You never really got upset. But I guess I was upset enough for the two of us. I wanted to take pictures of you with your boutonniere. I wanted to watch you on stage at Graduation. I wanted to celebrate you. I wanted our family to celebrate your new chapter.  I wanted someone to say, “Wow, you look young to have a high school graduate.” 

Your answer to my “So Sorry” was always, “No reason to get upset, we are all dealing with the same thing.” And honestly, I think this is what has helped me the most. As a parent, you want things to run smoothly for your kids. I never want my kids to feel disappointment or hard times. But that’s just kind of ridiculous. Because life has both. Life is unpredictable. There are wrinkles. And things get messy and scary at times. My heart aches that you learned this so early.  

You are better off. You know this and can move on to your next phase realistic that life is unpredictable and it’s up to you how you deal with the hiccups. Hold your breath and hope they go away; or figure out ways to alleviate them. 

Your freshman year won’t be what you expected, but you are still so excited to go. So while I’m really, really, sorry for what you have missed, I’m really, really happy for what you have gained and taught me. 

When I drop you off in two weeks, I can’t promise there won’t be tears, what I can promise is the girl you hook up with who says “it’s just allergies”, well she has Covid, so run.

Love you so.

Mom

P.S. Use the wipes I packed for you. 

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