Humor, Mommy Lessons, Raising Kids, Relationships,

A Day In the Life Of A Married Woman

Not my kids. These are from How I Met Your Mother. Mine wouldn't pose.

Not my kids. These are from How I Met Your Mother. Mine wouldn’t pose.

As a mom to a girl, I always feel that I have a huge job. For example, from observing her father and me, Julia will learn about love and relationships.

That?s some serious responsibility. And that is why, when Julia is old enough, I will share a typical day of a married woman.

Wednesday 8:00 p.m.

Your Dad and I have a great dinner together. We make sure to date at least once a week. We talk about you and your brothers, we make some plans. We laugh. I even tell him how much I love him and what a good dad he is.


After we watch an okay episode of House of Cards Season 2, and after I Google and a buy a dress that Robin Wright was wearing in the show, we ?make out.?

Thursday 6:30 a.m.

I wake up to start the day. It?s mom?s quiet time. Daddy sleeps like he is a college student. I check to see if he is breathing.

7:25 a.m.

Daddy comes down the stairs. Every morning Daddy comes down the stairs like he is the special surprise guest on The Tonight Show. He shows up just before the closing credits of the Ross Morning Rush Show come on. ?Hey babe.? He looks like he just woke from a ten-year coma. (“what’s the internet?” I always imagine him asking)

8.:30 a.m.

I?m dressed for yoga. Now Julia, you know I have been going to yoga the same days, same time for a while now? Shit, even the mailman asks me how Thursday yoga was. To Daddy, it is always a big surprise.

8:35 a.m.

Dad : You?re going to yoga?
Me, (Your Loving Mother): Yes
Dad: Who is going to open the door for the contractor?
Me: I will leave it unlocked. He?s coming soon.
Dad: I think you should be here to open it.
Me: I want to fit yoga in. I ate everything when we were away, and I don?t know what I am capable of if I don?t work out.
Dad: I want you to stay home and let them in.

9:05 a.m.

The contractors are in. They go directly upstairs. They don?t ask me to nail anything, or fix any of the plumbing. My butt is saying, ?You are so screwed. I am about to touch your ankles.? I?m pissed, Julia. I am not sure what I saw in your father all those years ago. My chest is pulsating from all the hammering.

10:00 a.m.

I am making a mock profile. ?Nice girl, believes in family, loyalty, shopbop, and unlocked front doors for ten minutes.?

12:00-6:00 p.m.

I go radio silent the whole day, but for one bitchy email asking your father if it was okay to go the bathroom.

7:00 p.m.
Family dinner.

I am still giving a little silent treatment. I ask him if he would like me to unlock any other doors.

8:00 p.m.
Finale of How I Met Your Mother

I am so disappointed by the finale that I forget that I am mad at Daddy. We give each other a kiss. I tell him I love him.

And that Julia is a day in the life of a married woman. Love, annoyance, forgiveness, and saying to yourself, rarely to the hubby, that you, (me, Mommy) were being a little bit of a baby.

Namaste my baby girl.

Tags: communication with couples, House of Cards, How I Met Your Mother finale, married couples, relationships,