Aging, Humor,

A Mom Comes To Terms With Her Aging

My kids are back at school.  I love winter break.  I actually woke up screaming last night.  All I said was, “I have to make lunch”, and then I fell right back asleep.  I get those Sunday night blues like my kids get before the start of the school week.  Even more after winter break.  The start of the new year makes my mind race with all the things I need to do, want to do.  These months race by, and then it’s summer.  Then it’s my birthday.  Then I am older, again.

But I decided something quite important last Friday night. Scott and I went to see Jerry Seinfeld (who is actually 58 years old!).  I was so excited.  A great date night with my guy, good laughs.  We get there, and Scott and I look around.  “We are old, he says.  Look around.  We are middle aged Jews.”  I looked around.  I guess knowing CPR would have been helpful there.  But we had fun, so that’s what matters. I mean, I love Seinfeld.  Am I not supposed to go because it makes me feel old?  Am I going to let a few oxygen tanks get in my way of having a good time?  I guess if I tripped on one at the show, that would suck.  But other than that….

And if I have made any New Year’s resolution, it’s this.   I will come to terms with my aging.

I will come to terms with the fact that:

-one day I could read anything from any distance, and now I feel like my eyes are always dilated.

-my kids tell me my veiny hands scare them

-that my parents now set their volume on their television to a level that threatens to pierce their grandchildren’s eardrums

-my cellulite complains about its cellulite

-that seeing a comedy show is the equivalent of when I would go to Raves in my twenties

-when I am at these comedy shows, I might even be that annoying audience member saying, “that is so true, so true!”

-when it’s New Year’s Eve, and clock strikes 12:00am, I will give myself a pat on the back.

-I look at articles with the husband entitled, Seven Positions to Spice It Up, and I say, “I am not sure I can move my leg there.”

-I want to put a sweater on some of the teenage girls I see at parties

-that when I dance it looks like I am constantly pointing things out.

Obviously, there are so many more that I could mention, but I can only come to terms with so much. The changes happening to us are really quite hilarious when you come to terms with them.  Notice how I say “us”, it makes me feel better if I include you in these changes.  Gotta go. Heard Betty White is coming to town. I wanna get good seats.

 photo courtesy of

Tags: aging, jerry seinfeld, moms aging, new years resolutions,