Humor, Husbands,

A Mom Has A Bedazzled Valentine’s

valentine's gift

Last night, as I was grocery shopping, I got such a kick out of seeing all the men scrambling to find flowers, cards, and candy for their mates.  I found it so entertaining that I told my Facebook friends to head out to their local store to watch the men sweat out their purchases.  I even went so far as to make fun of these guys to my husband.  ?Can you believe these guys going to Publix the night before Valentine?s?”

This Valentine?s morning my husband gave me a lovely card and a bedazzled bottle of Champagne.  I can?t fake anything.  My shock was apparent.  It was like a Murder She Wrote episode.  ?You, it was you at Publix.  You are one of them? Take him away boys.?

Full disclosure.  I went out last week and bought something great for my Valentine?s Gift.  I love it and am very appreciative. I guess very appreciative of me for having such great taste because Scott was not with me.

The thing is, I would have preferred if Scott told me I looked a little chunky in my jeans than given me the Publix bottle of champagne he bought yesterday.  Am I spoiled?  That is really not the point here.  The point is a Publix bag filled with my favorite fashion magazines (or any US magazine that has a picture of Angelina and cellulite) and Sour Patch Kids would have been a better fit. The card would have sufficed, but the bottle of Champagne with little red rhinestones spelling out Be Mine at 8:00am?  What is his message here?  Does he want to film a sexy video of me pouring said champagne down my chest?  Does he want me to be drunk at the bus stop?  Is this some sort of devious plan to make me look like an unfit mother?

I asked Scott these questions.  He told me that because I had bought my present, he gave me the champagne as a joke.  Fair enough, but just to be on the safe side, I am going to an AA meeting…after this bottle.

Happy Valentine?s Day!!

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