Aging, Humor,

A Mom Hits The Early Bird Specials

Our generation invented the crop top!!

Our generation invented the crop top!!

So we?re out with friends the other night. Great night. Laughed so much. The kind of hand slapping on the table laugh. Drank a lot, but didn?t even have a hangover the next day.

Did I mention we went out at 6:30pm? The sun literally had just gone down. To defend myself, our kids were going on a field trip to one of those trampoline places, kind of like the Chuck E. Cheese’s of their generation, with an increased chance of a trip to the ER.  So we had to start our evening early and go to a local restaurant to be on time for pick-up.

As we were sitting at dinner, my friend commented that she actually liked going out so early. We all even agreed that it was so easy to eat at a restaurant so close to our house instead of traipsing down to Miami to a trendy restaurant. It was at that moment that my friend discovered something. These are the signs. The signs of getting older.  Meeting at someone?s house at 6:30 for drinks, then heading to a local restaurant, and enjoying it!

We laughed about this. We justified our night plans, ?We?re just doing this because we have to pick up the kids my 10pm, if we didn?t, we would totally be down in Miami not eating till 10.? But when I got home, I thought about it more. Was this a sign? What else have I been changing in my life that is hinting at the fact I am getting older?

For example:

I started paying Italian tourists to go into Abercrombie for me because the music is crazy loud, I start sneezing fifteen times in a row from the perfume they spray on everything?and because I may look inappropriately at the male sales associates.

My root touch-up appointments come sooner than my period.

I go up to kids at Bar Mitzvahs and tell them they are rude for being on their phones so much. ?In my day, we did the tie dance.?

One glass of wine at night brings on a migraine in the A.M. worthy of medical intervention.

I make my hubby get to movies early to beat the crowds.

I can?t fully enjoy the crop top trend.

I lied to my kids about a surveillance camera in the liquor cabinet.

I am throwing a party and am crazy worried about the amount of pass around hors d?oeuvres.

I scream out ?whore? to the young girls wearing short shorts. ?News flash, just because high-waisted shorts are in, showing most of your butt is not.?  You see?  I sound 80!!

I started packing for every trip using at least ten Ziploc bags. I am so terrified of spillage. To go along with that, I am also terrified of no overheard storage on the plane.

When I talk about really letting loose in Vegas, I am certain I will die. ?Kids, your mom went to a Rave. She didn?t make it.?

I have an ongoing game of Words With Friends with my dermatologist?s assistant.

And these are just some of the subtle changes happening in my life. Maybe in yours, too.  They all seem innocent enough, but we know what they mean.  Soon I?ll be saying stuff like; ?I have a double coupon for that.?

But I don?t want you to think I have lost my mojo, yet. My crazy fun side. I can still totally party in Miami, eat late, and go dancing. All I need are three red bulls and a power nap and I am good to go.  I might even show a little belly.

Grazie per la lettura e la condivisione!   That means….Thanks for Reading and Sharing in Italian. Those tourists are so helpful!!!

Tags: changing habits, funny moms, getting older, moms,