Mommy Lessons, Raising Kids,

A Mom Stops Assuming.


I am sure by now most of you have heard of the untimely death of L’Wren Scott. She was 47, a well known designer, and girlfriend to Mick Jagger for the past thirteen years. She was gorgeous, glamorous, and stood at a statuesque 6?3. Her dress designs were gorgeous, worn by countless celebrities. I have one of her dresses and I always felt beautiful in it, as her designs were simple and focused on a woman?s physique.

For some reason, I can?t get the news of her death out of my mind. Initial reports have determined that her death is from an apparent suicide, and that she hung herself by a scarf tied to a door knob.

First, I feel so sad for her and her family and friends. I feel so sad for her. I ask myself, was she in so much pain, and didn?t tell anyone? Did she suffer from mental illness? Did she feel so desperate in her final hours?

And did she feel that she had to put up a front her whole life. For the layman like myself, I looked at her, read her interviews in magazines, and believed that she had the most glamorous privileged life ever. A celebrity designer, a gorgeous former model, a rock star boyfriend. Who wouldn?t think that she had it all? And that her life was easy.

And it?s that thinking that has bothered all day. I think we all make assumptions about people?s lives and what they must be like. I know I have made assumptions about my peers, their marriages, their kids.

And what I know to be true at 41, is this. I have wasted my time doing this. I have wasted energy doing this. I have said to Scott, ?Why can?t you be more affectionate in public like so and so?? and then so and so are getting divorced.

And if I can teach my kids anything, it will be to avoid doing this in their lives.

They have it tougher than we ever did. They have so many images to draw conclusions from. Facebook, and the party that looked so great. Instagram, and how gorgeous Kendall Jenner looks. Vine, and how much fun they are having.  They see all this and worry more about others than themselves.

I think we have to constantly drill into our kids? heads that they have no idea what is going on with anyone else, so they can?t assume anything. And they can?t preoccupy themselves with it. Rather, they should focus on what they are doing. Are they a good person? Are they a good friend? Are they doing the right thing?

Maybe Ms. Scott felt an overwhelming pressure to be the image that was portrayed, all the while struggling silently. We don?t know.

We never know.

Rest in Peace.