Seriously, where are they?

You know I am a huge Modern Family fan. New episodes are mood changers for me like a sun lamp is for those with seasonal disorder.

I?m sure any parent would agree that a lot of what they say rings so true in our lives.  Last Wednesday?s especially. To sum it up, Claire, the mom of three, was spying on each of her kids. She had no idea what was going on in their lives, so she used the find my iphone app for one of them, checked texts, and enlisted one of her kids to spy on the other one.

Her argument in the end when she was discovered?  Basically, sorry if you don?t like it, but I?m your mother, and I need to know what is going on with you. The grunts and rolling of the eyes you give me are not good enough and it?s my job to be aware and protect you.

I have said versions of this conversation with my kids over the years.

For a parent, it is so frustrating when the off switch gets flipped in our kids. They go from kids who skip into the room to tell you everything to Matrix like characters who always seem dark and suspicious, and have an uncanny ability to get from room to room with no one noticing.

I will ask my oldest, ?How was your day?? This is met with disgust like I asked, ?Can I see your pee pee? I want to see if it?s growing.?

I will ask my middle, ?Who are you meeting in town tonight?? You would think I asked him, ?You want me to hold your hand and we can wear matching outfits.?

I will ask my 10yr old, “How is your friend Savannah?” This is met with, “What? Nothing happened!!”

Now people, how am I supposed to get any closer to knowing anything about my kids with these reactions?

So like Claire from Modern Family, I have bribed my daughter with ten dollars to learn my oldest?s code on his phone. We have used the find my iphone app to determine my child?s location, and I regularly read the history on their computers. I have even tried to subtly read my son?s texts over his shoulder, but I can?t make out letters up close anymore. The worst, waiting till my kid is out of the room and asking his friends to give me info.

My advice to you. Tune into Modern Family if you are not already watching, because watching their show is like looking in the mirror. They sum up parenting so perfectly. And it?s basically this. We, as parents, can withstand the eye rolling, the constant irritation in their voices, and the unconvincing and unapologetic act of pretending they can?t hear us. But, we will never stop trying, we will never stop caring, and we will never stop annoying.

It?s safe to say I will be spying for the rest of my life. So I?m thinking about doing a whole Charlie?s Angels look, maybe the Farrah.

So spill it. How far have you gone to get info about your kids?