How is it almost going to be the end of summer? (Don’t tell me summer ends at Labor Day weekend. Summer ends August 10th when the kids come off that plane looking a little too skinny and a little too tan from camp.) Every summer it?s the same thing for me. I have such high hopes of accomplishing so much. Like Obama. But here we are, almost at the end of my Summer Term, and my to do list is a bit different than what actually happened.
1) Exercise religiously-With my kids gone for seven weeks, there is really no reason why I shouldn?t look like Brooke Burke upon their return. I have a lot of time and my butt needed special attention. Let me tell you what I figured out this summer. At 41, if you don?t work out, your body gives you a big FU! They don?t remember that you went to yoga regularly, or tried to follow Tracey Anderson. They just remember what you did this past week, and if it?s nothing, they repay you with the flab you don?t remember having since pregnancy.
2) Eat really healthy– Juicing and green smoothie drinks were at the top of my list. My skin would glow like a teenager, so much so that I knew I would get carded in the liquor store. But here?s the thing, with just my husband and me at home, it was very difficult to get out of bed early and start chopping up cucumbers and measuring out just the right amount of kale. Much easier was making a big cup of coffee, skipping breakfast, and then pigging out by lunch. Also, because I am in vacation mode, I convinced myself that anything I ate didn?t really have the same caloric impact that it has in real life. So when the greasy potato skins touched my mouth, I felt I was safe. Needless to say, I have not been carded, actually, the store clerks have asked me if I need help to my car, and I now describe Melissa McCarthy as shapely.
3) Go through all my emails and unsubscribe-I don?t know about you, but unsubscribing to all the ridiculous emails I receive could take me a good week. That is why I saved it till summer. I didn?t want any more penis enlargement emails, or how to Allure A Woman tips. I didn?t even want some of my favorite stores sending me notices anymore. (they are like drug pushers) So I was going to take the time needed and unsubscribe. But that gets boring. So instead, I started blocking Facebook friends? newsfeed. I had a very strict criteria. If you showed me your meal, kids, or how happy you were in your relationship, I blocked you.
4) Clean my kids? closets– I avoid this task like the plague. I would rather run into my ex-boyfriend wearing granny underwear than figure out what underwear is too small for my son. I started cleaning, don?t get me wrong, but then I fakely found most of their clothes extremely sentimental, so I left things in the drawers, closed their bedroom doors, and never entered again.
5) Cook More-This was going to be the summer of Jen learning how to make something complicated like seared tuna with sesame seeds and some sort of glaze. I imagined wowing Scott when he came home. Maybe I would even wear this sexy Asian inspired dress I had. It would be perfect. But with the kids away, my car seems to have lost the way to a grocery store. Scott has had to survive on the crunchy noodles that come with our takeout.
So those are just a few of the things I wanted to do this summer. I realize as I read them over that my kids force me to be a functioning organized human being. Without them, I am a borderline alcoholic who makes more excuses than Lindsay Lohan.
But I have had a great summer!! Hope yours is too.