Mommy Rut: when the hamster wheel starts squeaking and you can?t remember what you did from one day to the next.
We have all hit it. A rut. The days meld into each other and you swear you just saw Punxsutawney Phil running around. I am experiencing one now. It seems like the days are filled with mind numbing errands, carpools, and sporting events; and any vacation is still a ways off.
It?s normal to feel this way. I’m thinking I have to take my own advice. I tell everyone else to make her own excitement, so I will to.
1) I will use a stopwatch when I go on my ridiculous but necessary errands. I will try to collect as many Bed Bath and Beyond coupons as possible, steal from friends? cars if necessary, will not pay anything for the Ninja juicer, and will exit store with an evil laugh.
2) When one of my kids is getting an x-ray at the orthodontist, or as I refer to it, the money making factory, and the technician runs out of the room with their little button, looking all terrified, I will push them back in the room with my kid.
3) It seems that every exercise class I attend, someone is constantly farting in my face. Right in my face!!! Next time, I say something. ?Excuse me, but you are farting right in my face! Do you care that my eyes are tearing up??
4) When I am having another boring conversation with other moms how crazy busy they are, I will say, ?Tomorrow I am getting vaginoplasty. Yup, gonna fix it right up.?
5) When I am trying to help my kids with their fractions homework, I will be honest and tell them that this shit is totally unnecessary. When we eat pizza, do I ever ask them if 3/8 of the pizza is left?
6) Usually when I go to the mall, and it?s really crowded, and someone is following me to get my spot, I hurry to give them the spot. Next time, I will get in my car, turn it on, and signal ?Oh, I?m not leaving, sorry!? Then I will sit in my car and practice making the cat eye with my liner for the next hour.
7) At Starbucks, when all I want to do is get in and get out, and the person in front of me tries to have a conversation with the barista, I will nicely suggest that they meet for coffee on his break.
As I peruse my list, it appears that I am finding my excitement from being really inappropriate and a little mean. But hey, we get our thrills where we can.