Well, it?s started. My daughter is in fourth grade and it has begun. Mean girls. I thought I would have until at least sixth grade, but no; I now have to give dirty looks to ten year olds. The stuff the mean girls do is pretty harmless, but to a ten- year- old, very upsetting. Every time Julia shares a story, I try to make light of the situation and tell Julia to not let it bother her so much. She will encounter people throughout her life that don?t think like she does, or act like she does. You can only be a good person, a kind person, and others will act as they wish. I tell her that I wish it would get better, but there will always be mean girls. I also tell her that we never truly know someone?s entire story. There?s usually a back-story.
I think that?s pretty good advice to give to my young daughter so that she grows up to be a confident individual, not allowing others to dictate how she should feel about herself.
So imagine what a hypocrite I felt like when I became so upset when I happened upon a certain situation.
A few weeks ago I was a party. I went to the bathroom. While in the stall I heard two women talking. They were talking about me. ?She thinks she?s so cool. She is so unfriendly. I don?t like her.? I had been squatting because I don?t like the toilets and every time I try to nicely place Martha Stewart like well shaped toilet paper on the seat, it takes a long time, usually falls in, and I almost pee in my pants. So I squat, get some glute and quad action in, and all is good. Well, never did I get such a workout than this night.
I couldn?t believe I was finally hearing women talk about me. Sure I have imagined it from time to time. The kind of, I wonder what it would be like to attend my funeral. At least there, people are saying nice things, hopefully.
But these girls did not like me. And I was devastated. The thing is, I like to be liked. I want to be liked. I don?t want people to think I am mean. I thought I was being perfectly nice that evening. Not sure what I could have done to offend them.
My friend told me I was being ridiculous. ?Why do you care?? she said. ?If you know you are a good person, then don?t worry.? But I did. More than that, how could I advise my daughter to stand tall, when I was playing crouching mom, hidden tiger in the stall?
My devastation has since subsided, and the fantasy of asking them what I did wrong to them and them answering honestly has lost to a reality of ?I will never know.?
But I still have my speech, my back-story if you will, ready in my head.
Bathroom girls, I am sorry you feel this way about me. I was pretty tired at the party, considering I had just come in from a trip the night before, then waited in the middle of the night for dance tickets. I was so happy to celebrate at the party, but having one hour of sleep did require me to sit more than I wanted to. I also checked my phone a lot to see if my son who had left for a field trip had contacted me to let me know all was good. Did I mention my dress was cutting off my air supply because I had five pounds of bloat and I wasn?t feeling that cute, let alone cool? So you might be right, I may have not been Miss Congeniality that night. And maybe you have a good explanation too for not checking the stalls to make sure no one was there. Maybe your back-story is that you drank too much and didn?t realize how mean you sounded.
But in every situation, there is always a silver lining. And I have to tell you, my quads have never looked better.