Caught the first episode of Judd Apatow produced Girls last night. It?s a show about twenty-somethings in New York, trying to find their place in life, making some questionable choices along the way.
I enjoyed the first episode and will commit to watching it again. It got me thinking. What could I teach my 22 year-old self that would save me from years of bad decisions?
Dear 22 year-old Jen,
I am you 18 years from now. Things are pretty good. When you get to be my age, you will be able to write messages to people and send them through your phone. You will be able to get shots in your forehead to prevent wrinkles and expressions of anger, and there will be TV shows on where people break out into song for no reason. Jeans will be worn right above the pubic bone.
First, don?t despair, in a year or two they will come out with a hair straightening system called Japanese Hair Straightening. The fumes might kill you, but those fussy curls will be gone.
Don?t go to law school. You are wasting your dad?s money and you will never practice it. Start working immediately.
Try to not stress out too much. Enough stress in later years.
Sanitize the bong when you are with unsavory types.
On the day after you go out with Scott, and you have regrets that you were too slutty, know that it will all work out, he will call, and you will live happily ever after.
Remember that you have Mick Jagger lips and red lipstick is a little too much. So please stop thinking your red Chanel is amazing. It never was.
Most important Jen, and listen very carefully, when you are pregnant at twenty-seven with your first, Ben, do not, I repeat, do not wear overalls. It is not cute, your ass will look big, and Scott will be repulsed.
You are at a great point in your life. Enjoy your twenties. Drink, explore New York.
Oh, and buy up buildings in a place called the Meatpacking District.