Have I Lost My Edge?

I just got back from a trip to New York.  I love visiting the city in the springtime.  Everyone is out and about, the city is bustling.  As I was walking around, I thought, first, I really miss the City, and two, I think I have lost my edge.  My New York edge.  I lived in New York for five years and have been in Florida for about nine.  I think I have gone soft.  Now, when walking around the City I say things like excuse me, or sorry, if I bump into someone.  I am intimidated by 10 year-old New York City girls who look more stylish than me and are wearing Ray-Ban sunglasses that I can’t find in the stores.

I am shocked by how much lunch costs at an NYC restaurant, and that tap water isn’t even an option.  People move so fast, and I am still strolling.  There are lines to get into the Abercrombie and Hollister stores and I can’t undertand why.

I feel like a country  bumpkin who is fascinated by the indoor plumbing.  So I ask, have I turned soft?  Has motherhood, suburban South Florida life made me lose my edge?  I look back on my NYC years with such fondness.  Maybe I was cooler than I am now.  Maybe I moved faster.  Maybe I was ruder, but in a good way.  Am I to just look back on those years with a fondness like my memories of camp boyfriends?

I think I want some of that person back.  The great thing about New Yorkers is that they are always pushing forward, moving, doing.  Everything is an event, from going to brunch, the leaves changing, buying a pair of shoes.  Going to a movie.

So I vow to try to bring some New York mentality back to my life.  I will try the new hot restaurant.  I will go to lunch where my sandwich will cost at least $20.00.  I will move faster and not say sorry when I bump into someone.  I will make lunch meetings to discuss the planning of the kids’ class parties.  I will get cooler sunglasses and then brag about them to ten year olds.  “You don’t have these do, you?”  When I am a Publix in the express 10 items or less line, I will count other people’s items and kick them out of the line if they have twelve items. I will try to get through at least two articles in the New York Times.

Yes, I will get my edge back.  So I am getting older, and my life is very different then when I lived in New York, but when I go back I realize that I didn’t need to leave that girl back in New York.  I liked her.

So get ready, cause I am going to be wearing a lot of black, and doing a lot of jaywalking.

Jen Ross, Author, “Don’t Wear Sweats Or Your Husband Will Leave You”

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