Ah. The holidays. A time of family togetherness, travel, eating, and the inevitable fight with my husband. We live in Florida but travel quite a bit to New York for holidays. I love visiting New York. Change of weather, change of scenery. Unfortunately, change of husband.
My husband and I don?t argue a lot. Regular stuff like everyone else. Yet I know that when we go visit his parents in New York we will have an argument. Don?t misunderstand, I love his family, his parents are wonderful generous human beings. The problem lies with Scott. For some reason, when he is in front of his Mom, he is not the loving adoring husband I have forced him to be at home. He is a bit dismissive, a bit rude and condescending.
In Florida I have summer Danny Zuko. He runs to me, his Sandy, on the beach. Up in New York, I have pep rally Danny Zuko. The T-Bird. I will say, Scott, what?s going on. Don?t you remember me? Our life? Why are you acting like you are not into me. You love me. We have been married fifteen years, three kids? He looks at me like I am crazy, then I have to run down to his family basement and sing a sad song.
I have been living with this dynamic for most of our marriage that it doesn?t bother me that much anymore. It?s actually quite funny. Does my husband not want his mom to feel replaced? Does he want to seem tough and unwhipped in front of her?
So I have learned to play along with it. I don’t take it too personally. I start wearing leather pants around his house and put cigarettes out with my pumps. (I don’t light them, smoking is gross)
And when we are alone in his childhood bedroom and he gives me that look, I grin. “Not tonight stud, my thrills, they’re not electrifying!”
Jen Ross, Author, Don?t Wear Sweats Or Your Husband Will Leave You