I get it George. I get it. You are suave, and cool, and rich. Everyone loves you. You are a prankster and a major do-gooder. You even funded a satellite to monitor activity in the Sudan. I can’t even figure out how to use the Find My Iphone app to track my kid’s phone. Seriously, no sarcasm here, amazing stuff.
You have also been pretty upfront about the fact you have no desire to marry again or ever have children.
And by George, I get it. You are kind of operating in the perfect world. Your stay in a relationship for the best part. The getting to know you period, the have a lot of sex period, the take you out and do fun things period, and then the dump her ass because you are bored period. You are able to date kind of dumb beautiful girls, some cocktail waitresses, some barely speak English. But hey, it doesn’t matter, because you won’t be with them for that long.
And the kid thing, you honestly look gorgeous all the time, I think, because you don’t have kids. You can go to your Lake Como home, you can hit Cabo with Cindy Crawford and her husband. You can play basketball with your buddies, any time you want. Shit, you can do whatever you want any time you want!
You, my friend, have chosen to go through life, light on your feet.
So I get it George. You realized some important things very early in your life. Marriage is a pain in the ass. Having to ride the ebbs and flows with one person can be excruciating. Drive you to drink, scream and cry, think about the perfect alibi. You figured out the perfect amount of time stay with someone. Three years max, give or take a few months if its awards season. Truly an awesome amount of time. It’s just before things can get complicated, or before your girlfriend says, “I’m thinking about taking some courses at UCLA. It’s so brilliant.
And the kids. I commend you. I think it’s great to be so honest about not wanting kids. Cause once you have kids, you never actually feel light again. Because now you are responsible forever for someone else. Their life, their happiness. Your decision to not have kids saves you from numerous stomachaches over playground brawls, or lunch table warfare, or tears from not being invited to a friend’s party. You never have to try to find a topic for a science fair, or go to a teacher conference.
George, I think you are probably a pretty amazing guy. You have a stellar reputation and are using your celebrity to do a tremendous amount of good in this world. You are authentic in how you want to live your life. To be honest, sometimes, when I am really frustrated, and tired, and my husband told me to call the plumber for the ninth time, and one of my errands for the day was to buy socks for the kids because their socks somehow live with my bobbypins and ponytails holders, I scream out, “Damn you George Clooney!”
But other than your Como house, or Cabo, or maybe working on the first Ocean’s movie, the other ones sucked, I wouldn’t trade places with you. I love my smart husband of almost eighteen years, and I have nailed science fair topic selection. I do get stomachaches when my kids are sad, or when I get really stressed over all of the overwhelming events I know are coming up in the years ahead. But I am happy, like you. I smile like you. I wore a tuxedo inspired look once and I looked pretty good, like you. I even love Facts of Life, like you.
And I do really get you, I just can’t be you, but I can be with you, Scott said I have a pass.