Family, Humor, Mommy Lessons, Raising Kids,

Mommy Needs To Take A Time-Out

Dear Ben, Jack and Julia,

Next week I will be going on a little vacation with Amy to California.  I know.  Why do I need to go away without you and Daddy?  How can I say this without sounding too harsh?

Sometimes Mommies need timeouts.  Not the timeouts like you used to get when you got into trouble.  A Mommy Timeout is needed when a mom needs a break from day to day life.

Don?t misunderstand Mommy, she loves her day?to-day life.  But now and then, Mommy thinks she is losing it.  Sometimes, Mommy doesn?t want to look for your shirt, or act like Nancy Drew and retrace our steps to find your sneakers.  Sometimes, Mommy doesn?t want to remind you that brushing your teeth is a daily requirement.  Sometimes, Mommy doesn?t want to make a waffle and get yelled at if the syrup is touching it.

Also, Mommy already saw Avengers twice and is nervous she will have to go again. Once is good, the second time, for the entire two hour movie, Mommy was trying to figure out what Scarlett Johansen’s superpower skill was.  Superhotness?

Sometimes Mommy doesn?t want to be sober at 3:00pm.  Sometimes Mommy wants to look at cute California boys and not feel like an old dirty mom.  Sometimes Mommy just wants to hang with her BFF and be immature.

Sometimes Mommy wants to be the only one to raid the mini-bar.  Sometimes Mommy wants to spend at least one night alone in a hotel bed, and not be the one who ends up on the rollaway cot.

So, kids, take care of your Daddy.  He will take care of you.  And know, it?s not you, it?s me.

And to quote the great former California Governator, who has a thing for his housekeepers,  ?I?ll be back.?

Tags: funny moms, how to take a break, mommy time,