I am an honest person.  Every time I use a public restroom that has that toilet sink combo in the stall, I come out and tell anyone that is in the bathroom that “I totally washed my hands already? and I assure them that I am not the type of person who would pee and then just leave without washing.  Did I mention that I have a strong need for approval as well?

So it pains me a little to tell you this honest sequence of events.  Yesterday was my daughter?s nine-year-old birthday party.  Parties stress me out.  I worry about the entertainment value, that the girls will be bored, that they will think I am the most boring mother alive.  Then Julia will turn to me, ?How could you, Mom?  Pin the Tail? You loser!?  For the record, I did not have pin the tail!  What I did have was one eight-year-old mean girl.  A girl that wasn?t supposed to be invited, but overheard someone talking about the party, went up to Julia and asked her if she was invited, and Julia quickly answered, ?Of course you are, my mom hasn?t sent out all the invites yet.?  Julia did the right thing.

So here walks in this girl, I will call her MG, and the first thing she does when she comes into the house, is head upstairs to Julia?s room, and write mean things on Julia?s dry erase board.  I know this because my spy Jack told me.  I watch MG in the pool. I even witness her telling another girl what she did.  I am pissed, and part of me wants to call security, Jack, to tell her to leave.  ?No,” I say to myself, “Julia doesn?t even realize what happened, I am going to let it go.?

Letting it go for me meant leering at MG the whole party.  Letting it go meant giving her pizza, then saying, ?Hey MG, just so you know, I had Jack erase Julia?s board.  Why do you think I did that?  Not such a good idea to write mean things at a friend?s party, don?t ya think??

Letting it go meant pretending to not hear her when she asked to go first for karaoke.  Letting it go meant giving her the eleventh slice of cake when she had requested the first piece.

And letting it go meant collecting all of her things as soon as her mother arrived for pick up and escorting her out of the party.  ?Thanks for coming MG!?

I remember when my good friend would call me when her daughter was dealing with mean girls.  I would say, ?You can?t get so upset, just teach your daughter how to handle it.?  She warned me I would soon find out this is easy to say, harder to follow.

How right she was!  So yes, maybe I was a bit immature.  Maybe I shouldn?t have just put one coat of nail polish on MG?s nails to ensure they would chip in a day.  But moms are Mama Bears, and mean girls of the world better watch out.

I am also contemplating becoming the Gossip Girl for moms.  I will have an anonymous blog, and report on the mean girls in town.  ?Spotted, MG acting snotty at Julia?s party.  Does her mom know her antics?  Who am I?  Gossip Mom XOXO.?