This will be my only post this week. I have been talking about this for a long time, and it is finally here. Can’t believe it, but I am hosting my first bar mitzvah this weekend.
Forget trying to figure out how the hell I got here. I am too busy practicing dance moves in front of my mirror. I am starting to realize I might look really weird dancing, not sexy like I always believed. But this weekend is about my son, not me. I want him to be happy with the night. I have woken up in cold sweats after imagining him at his party, on his phone, tweeting something like, ?get me out of here?.
Even with all the planning and anxiety, and ridiculous fascination with Bar Mitzvah party blogs, I will miss some things about this time.
?I can?t get together, I am planning the Bar Mitzvah.?: I have been able to use that for a while now to avoid lunch plans and dental cleanings. What am I going to use now?
Embezzling funds: I have been able to sneak a few things in and claim them as Bar Mitzvah expenses. I recently categorized “staircase banister paint job” under ?Bar Mitzvah Décor.?
Using the creative side of my brain: ?What if we make rock candy bouquets?? You see how I did that? Amazing right?
Scott is scared of me: Scott sees how I have been stressed about this day. Of course, he is always good, but now he is being really good and nice, and terrified! Perfect combination.
Inexplicably skinny: Seriously, Honey Boo Boo?s mom should plan a Bar Mitzvah. I am convinced she could lose weight while still maintaining a bag- of-Cheetos-a-day regimen.
Yes. I am sorry to see this time end. I figure I can keep this stuff going for a good six months post Bar Mitzvah. Then I will start planning Jack?s.
See Related Articles: Is Planning A Bar Mitzvah Like Becoming A Drug Addict?
