I have never been much of a puzzle person. I actually think when it comes to puzzles; I might be a little dumb. I mean, you look at all those pieces, you try to figure out what fits, get frustrated, pour a glass of wine, and observe your children put it together perfectly.
Now, as a parent of three, I am constantly trying to put the ultimate puzzle together. The puzzle of parenting. I can tell you with complete certainty, that I will never put all of these pieces together either!
Kids are really like the pieces of a puzzle. Sometimes, they fit perfectly, and you know exactly where to put them. Like those good end pieces with a color telling you which scene they are part of. Then there are times when they have so many edges they could go anywhere, and you have no idea if they will ever fit.
Example: As you know, my kids are at camp this summer. Since the beginning of camp, I have received letters from one of my children which stated ?Take me home now? and to keep it interesting, would sometimes add ?I hate it here.? The phone calls were angry and may have included a few curse words. We had stomachaches over our child?s unhappiness. We had endless discussions as to what we thought was going on at camp. Now as much as I have been enjoying my summer, I don?t believe in torture, so my husband and I decided we would take our child home on visiting day. We mapped out how we would handle our exit strategy so our other kids wouldn?t be affected. I surveyed my friends as to the best way to handle the day. (A short questionnaire they were happy to fill out. I provided those little pencils.) The grandparents were involved and would be responsible for taking said subject from premises at 1500 hours. It was a military operation planned down to the shorts we would grab from our kid?s cubby. All pieces in place, and I even wore a military inspired outfit to really get into the mood.
Okay, Scott and I were ready. Our kid?s unhappy, our summer alone over. I was researching fun things you can do with bug spray in Florida. Every piece was in place.
We get to visiting day. Our child runs up and hugs us with a smile and proceeds to say, ?Can I get more money in my camp account? We are going to an amusement park next week.? ?Oh, and next year, I am in those cabins, it?s going to be awesome!?
?Abort, Abort!!? I scream to the grandparents.
What the fuck? He?s happy? But I thought I had it figured out. The ultimate Sudoku! I guess the person who came up with the phrase ?the best laid plains? had kids too!
Let me tell you. I ?ll figure out the Rubix Cube, drunk, sooner than this parenting thing!!!