I talk about sex with my friends a lot. I like talking about it. I find it interesting to get everyone’s take on a married sex life. I am not nosy, it’s not like when I am not with them I am imagining them doing it with their husbands. Actually, that isn’t true. If the couple is a little straight-laced, I do imagine them doing really funky stuff in the bedroom.
I am interested in whether friends hit slow patches, or when they are really into each other. I find comfort in knowing that everyone’s relationship has its highs and lows in the sex department.
I think what I have learned is that there is a fundamental difference between men and women when it comes to sex.
Now I am not going to brag, but in third grade I did a report on Albert Einstein, so I am kind of a science scholar.
This is what I know. Men have all this testosterone. It makes them want to have sex. Women don’t have as much, so we don’t want it as much. Men think with their thingie, and women think with their brain that is filled with To Do lists, carpool schedules and grocery lists.
I know you are impressed right now with my scientific mind, and I know Albert Einstein never had a “theory of the thingie”.
So what do we do about these big differences? Well, my mom always told me that sex and money will break up most marriages. (We will talk about money in another post.) She started telling me when I was seven years old, when all I wanted to do was play with Barbies, but that is beside the point.
The thing is. She is right. If a couple does not have sex, so many other problems are created. Resentment, insecurity, infidelity.
So here is a hypothesis for all those women out there who love a good science project. If you have sex with your guy, he will be happier. You will be happier. Your relationship will be better.
It is important to stay connected with your guy even when you are not “feeling it”. Tell him what is on your mind, and hopefully he can share with you what is on his.
Mine and Scott's conversation goes something like this:
Scott: Excuse me mam, can you please give me directions to you libido?
Me: Well, you go down Complement Circle, stop at Dishwasher Drive, take a right at Back Rub Blvd, and then you will get to Libido Lane.
Scott, what about you?
Scott: You had me at Scott.
So run your experiment. Make it a point to have sex at least a couple of times a week.
Trust me on this. I am a sort of a scientist.
Jen Ross, Author, “Don’t Wear Sweats Or Your Husband Will Leave You”