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Archive for April, 2012
Let me tell ya. I think my daughter is pretty lucky to have a mom who cuts through the bullshit. I am like Mr. Miyagi, and she is my Danielson. I am like Doc, and she is my Marty McFly. You get the message. I know shit. And after I wrote my post, The Real Marriage Experts, I realized that my daughter will one day look to me for good advice. I can’t just teach her that I think threading your eyebrows is better than waxing. I need to … Continue Reading »
I am not very political. I think political groups are like cliques with followers. Really, you can compare anything in life to high school. But give me a good girl fight and I have to say something. So much in recent weeks with regard to stay-at-home moms versus working moms. With Hilary Rosen’s comment that Ann Romney, stay-at-home mom to five boys, “had never worked a day in her life” everyone became enraged and the debate became center stage about stay-at-home moms versus working out-of-the home moms. Some … Continue Reading »
I am the girl who just showed up to my wedding. The one decision I had to make, my wedding dress, I messed up, and looked like Nancy Kerrigan from the 94 Winter Olympics. So you can imagine my trepidation in having to plan my son’s Bar Mitzvah. I tried to pretend I was all Jewish like Madonna and Demi Moore and declared to my husband that I wanted to go to Israel. “That’s what real Jews do,“ I say, “to really find meaning in becoming a Bar Mitzvah. … Continue Reading »
So Scott reads Men’s Magazines like Men’s Health and Maxim and from time to time he likes to offer me little tidbits of information. This last one was actually good. It was an article about how to achieve the best orgasm for you and your mate. This is what you need to do: Day One: Kiss for a half hour. Just kissing. Day Two: Still kissing with some over the clothes petting. Day Three: More kissing, a little more touching. Day Four: Still more kissing, then maybe run … Continue Reading »
I caught Sex and The City 2 on TV the other day and I figured out why I never liked it. One, I missed Sarah Jessica’s mole. Two, it makes me feel ancient when I see how old Samantha has gotten. I loved the show. Loved the first movie. But the sequel was like when I lost my virginity. It was so hyped up, I was so excited, and then when it was over, I asked ”Was that it? Not much happened.” I wasn’t even sure I wanted … Continue Reading »
Caught the first episode of Judd Apatow produced Girls last night. It’s a show about twenty-somethings in New York, trying to find their place in life, making some questionable choices along the way. I enjoyed the first episode and will commit to watching it again. It got me thinking. What could I teach my 22 year-old self that would save me from years of bad decisions?
Dear 22 year-old Jen, I am you 18 years from now. Things are pretty good. When you get to be my age, you … Continue Reading »
This is a difficult day for me. Probably one of my hardest. I just heard from a very reliable source, one of the premier news deliverers, TMZ, that Brad and Angelina are engaged. You need to understand something. I have never gotten over THE BREAKUP. I still picture Jen and Brad walking romantically on the beach, arm in arm. Everything seemed okay. Then next thing you know, they are splitting up and Brad is playing house with Angelina and child on some beach. Sure, some of you will say, … Continue Reading »
I was at a party this past weekend and I met an adorable twenty-year-old girl. She is a junior in college, wants to work in fashion, and has no visible pores on her face. She is smiley, and enthusiastic. Loves her family, loves school, loves her life. I looked at her and smiled. I had two options. Do I show my resentment of her youth and beauty, and accidently spill coffee on her super cute outfit, or do I just smile and actually listen to her? Often … Continue Reading »
So I talked yesterday about how my visit to New York City gave me a little spring in my step. http://dontwearsweats.com/have-i-lost-my-edge/. That got me thinking, if I am going to be walking around like a New Yorker, I need cute Spring and Summer shoes. Spring and Summer are the seasons of cute pedicure colors, great maxi dresses, short shorts, and sundresses. Sometimes, the shoe choice is the biggest issue. Don’t despair, because I think I found a great shoe for us all. Now, I like to wear heels a lot, … Continue Reading »
I just got back from a trip to New York. I love visiting the city in the springtime. Everyone is out and about, the city is bustling. As I was walking around, I thought, first, I really miss the City, and two, I think I have lost my edge. My New York edge. I lived in New York for five years and have been in Florida for about nine. I think I have gone soft. Now, when walking around the City I say things like excuse me, or sorry, … Continue Reading » |
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