I can?t believe I am confessing this. It is around 3am, and I am in line to purchase dance recital tickets. I am like those moms I make fun in when I play the Crazy Mom Board Game. What is wrong with me? Is this how I get my thrills now? By being number four in line to get tickets for my daughter?s three minute dance? She does have a solo one armed roundoff in the end though.
But really, this makes me questions my whole psyche. What if I have been crazy my whole life and no one has told me?
So as I sit here at three in the morning, praying I am not killed by a late nighter from the nearby Waffle House; you be the judge:
and I will quote Usher: These are my confessions:
1. I do not like Julia Roberts. Always found her irritating, never thought she was America?s sweetheart.
2. Every time I am in the movies with my kids, and there is a lone man sitting there, I think he is some sort of terrorist or serial killer.
3. I don?t know what my husband?s favorite color is, or how many girls he has been with. I don?t care, but I feel weird that I don?t care.
4. I don?t think there is anything good about being forty. I?d rather have less of this wisdom everyone tells me is coming. I want to be young and stupid.
5. I discriminate against people who back their cars into parking spaces. Why do they need to back in?
6. I don?t believe in farting in front of my husband. My stomach hurts all of the time. Coincidence?
7. I can?t believe I need to exercise for the rest of my life! I am squeezing my butt in my chair right now.
8. I think about eye cream a few times a day.
9. I ask my husband every Saturday night when we get home if he thinks the couple we went out with thought I was funny.
10. I want to live life as a blonde for one year.
Enough confessing. They just called my number. Score!! I am third row center. Eat that, moms who slept in. I guess we know the answer to my crazy question. But I will be crazy without binoculars at the recital.