Even at 41, I still love the VMAs. Last night’s show was amazing.  And even with a silly awards show, I learned a few things.

1. I think Miley is sluttier than me, even in my best days.  I also learned that her tongue is quite long.  I have been reading a lot of negative tweets about her performance.  Too risque, too inappropriate to act that way with a married man.  I say, look at how flexible she is.  I think I read she does pilates.  Focus on the positive people.  And those undergarments would be perfect under some of my tight dresses.

2. I can never wear this bikini again.  It will just look like I am copying when I bought it first.

3. I don’t think Taylor is as nice as she told me she was at her concert.  Remember that I took my daughter to her show and I loved it?  She talked about being nice and not speaking ill of others.  Well, I think she was whispering to Selena that she hated Katy Perry’s dress, and that she is so happy that little douchebag with the baggy pants wasn’t there.  Look closely into Taylor’s eyes, and you will see a very catty girl with amazing makeup.

4. Justin Timberlake is the most talented person alive and his old *NSYNC friends know this when they are eating bags of Doritoes.  Anyone notice that Joey Fatone and that Chris Kirkpatrik were wearing some sort of cummberbund spanx contraptions?  This performance was the most important thing that has happened to them in the past decade, and they couldn’t lay off the pizza a month before?

6. I will be wearing Selena’s dress at my next Bar Mitzvah.